


Phil Coulson's Day Off

by kinky_kneazle



Category: Marvel Avengers Movies Universe
Genre: Capsicoul - Freeform, Community: avengerkink, M/M, Motorbikes, Phil's secret identity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-25
Updated: 2012-08-25
Packaged: 2017-11-12 20:27:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/495330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kinky_kneazle/pseuds/kinky_kneazle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All Phil wanted was a peaceful, Avengers-free day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Phil Coulson's Day Off

**Author's Note:**

> **A/N:** Written for a [kinkmeme prompt](http://avengerkink.livejournal.com/8247.html?thread=17914935&#t17914935) where Phil and Steve meet at a motorbike convention. It also for the 'hobbies' square for my [](http://avengers-tables.livejournal.com/profile)[**avengers_tables**](http://avengers-tables.livejournal.com/) table. My motorbike knowledge is gleaned from someone who is now an ex, so may not be entirely accurate.
> 
> All my love, always, to curiouslyfic for handholding and beta duties. She saved the ending for me <3
> 
> This is not porny, like I wanted, because Steve refuses to move that fast, but there will probably be a follow-up with that scene.

  
Phil Coulson walked into the exhibition hall and breathed a sigh of relief. There had been rumblings that Doctor Doom was planning an escape from prison and he thought he'd be working all weekend. Thankfully the Fantastic Four had dealt with the problem and despite the drama that anything involving Reed Richards caused in the Tower, Phil could only be grateful. He'd been looking forward to this weekend for months.

The scent of leather and motor oil was almost overwhelming and he felt himself relax. New York Motorcycle Convention. Work had stopped him from attending the last few years, and he was glad to finally be back. No suit, today. Like most people here, he'd ridden in, so he was dressed like everyone else - motorcycle boots, leather jacket and a pair of jeans. Oh, there were a few one-percenters around the place, but most of the crowd were just like him: enthusiasts. People who loved the wind whipping past their faces and something large and powerful between their legs.

He snorted at the double entendre. Good thing he'd had that thought before Mick arrived. Speaking of, he started looking around for his friend. They were meant to meet near the entrance and he thought if he just wandered over to look at that beautiful new Aprilia he'd still be able to see the door.

He was squatted next to the machine relaxing into a blissfully Avengers-free day when a scarily familiar voice reached his ears.

"A motorbike show, Rogers? You invite me out for the day and bring me to a _motorbike_ show?"

"I didn't invite you anywhere, Tony." Captain Rogers sounded infinitely weary, a condition Phil could sympathise with; he felt that way around Tony Stark a lot as well. "You were bored and insisted on tagging along. You're welcome to leave again, since I'm meeting someone."

"Really? Got a date? Shit, that's Wolverine."

Phil shifted slightly so that he could see through the wheel spokes and sure enough, Logan was walking towards Tony and Captain America. He had a feeling today was not going to go as he'd planned.

"Logan!"

Steve - Captain Rogers, he admonished himself - reached forward to give Logan a hearty handshake.

"Any reason your handler had to tag along?"

"Tony's not my handler. If anything, he's the one who needs constant minding"

Logan jerked his thumb back towards Phil's position and Phil knew the game was up. "I'm talking about your SHIELD mascot squatting beside the Aprilia."

Phil bristled at the mascot comment but pasted on his game smile and stood.

Tony scowled and Logan's expression didn't change from his normal one of 'man-suffering-indigestion' but Captain Rogers smiled at him, seemingly happy to see him. "Phil!"

"Captain." Phil gave a curt nod. "I'm not on duty this weekend, just here to see the show."

"You're a motorcyclist, Coulson? I don't see it."

"You don't have to see it, Stark. Just go and enjoy your day and keep out of my hair."

"Do you want to join us?" Rogers asked, ever the friendly, welcoming sort.

Phil looked at his watch, Mick was already late and he had to get away from them before he turned up. "I'm actually meeting someo-"

"Greg!"

Phil looked around to see Mick walking towards him. Too late. "Play along," he hissed to the three men and turned with a wave.

"Mick." They did the handshake, back-thumping hug appropriate to the venue and then he turned to the superheroes. "I just, well, saw Captain America and had to introduce myself."

Mick laughed. "Of course you did." He looked at Captain Rogers. "Greg's a huge fan. I'm sure that card of you on your Harley is what got him into motorbikes in the first place."

"Well, it's always a pleasure to meet a fan," Rogers said graciously.

"And now that we've met you we should let you enjoy the show. We don't want to be an impos-"

"Hey, you're Tony Stark!"

Phil gave Tony a glare, urging him to ignore Mick, but he should have known that would only encourage him.

"Yes, I am." Tony held his hand out as he gave his most charming grin. "You're a friend of Greg's?"

"Yeah, we've known each other for years."

Tony's raised eyebrow did not bode well for Phil's sanity.

"You bonded over motorbikes?"

"In part." Mick sent a small grin Phil's way then looked back at Tony. "Are you here to launch the new Stark bike? I've heard it's 2000cc, but lighter than anything else on the market."

"Yeah, come take a look."

Tony Stark really was the reason he'd started grinding his teeth again. He sent a weak smile Steve's way before turning to follow them. Steve was talking to him and for once he wasn't hearing any of it because he was too busy trying to hear what Mick was telling Tony.

"He has a Captain America shield tattoo-ed on his butt?" Tony turned and gave him a look, and Phil felt a blush creep up his cheeks. "How interesting. However did you discover that little fact?"

Phil was pleased to see Mick clam up tighter than Captain America's glutes at that question. "There was an incident requiring first aid," he said, which was a much better answer than, 'It's displayed very clearly when he's bent over a couch waiting for a good pounding,' which was the truth. But Mick would never out him.

"Do you two work together?"

"Me? In insurance?" Mick laughed. "No, I'm a cellist."

Correction, Mick would never out him on _purpose_. Tony's eyebrows were almost hidden by his hair when he turned for another look.

"Phil?" Rogers sounded concerned.

"I'm sorry, Captain Rogers, I'm a little distracted."

"I thought I'd told you to call me Steve."

"Steve. And I'm Greg today."

"Why are you Greg today?"

So Phil told him in very brief terms of his time working undercover and how he and Mick had become friends and that had lasted after the mission was over.

"That doesn't usually happen, does it?"

"No. I think Director Fury thought I needed some friends."

Steve laughed at that and Phil looked around to see what had happened to Logan. They'd lost him next to one of the Japanese racing bikes.

"Hey, that's my bike!" Steve said suddenly and Phil turned to see an army green Harley Davidson on display.

"Yeah, it's on loan from the Harley Davidson museum. I thought that was why you were here."

"Oh, no. Logan thought I might enjoy it. Get out of the tower for a bit."

They walked towards the display and Steve reached out to run a hand lovingly over the seat.

"No touching, Sir," the attendant said and Steve was immediately apologetic. Then the attendant seemed to recognise him. "Of course you can touch it, Captain America. She was yours."

"She got me out of some tough scrapes."

They were suddenly surrounded by a crowd of forty-something motorcyclists eager to hear Steve's stories of riding a Harley Davidson out of Hydra Germany with just his shield on his back. Phil took the opportunity to melt away, ready to get Mick out of Tony's clutches and try to rescue the day.

He stood at the edge of the crowd, watching Steve speak passionately about how great his little bike was. He pointed at the pin-up girl painted on the gas tank, Holly, the spirit of the bike and drawn in imitation of the girls on the bombers.

Harley Davidson was going to do some great business this weekend with that sort of advertising.

He forced himself to turn away; staying in place staring cow-eyed at Captain America would not be good for team cohesion or his authority or his dignity. If he _had_ any of that left after the whole 'watched you while you were sleeping' fiasco.

He found Mick perched on the back of the new Stark bike. It looked like some sort of space-age hovercraft or something. He frowned, wondering if some Chitauri technology had made its way into that design.

Still, Mick looked happy. He always had liked the latest toys and he was looking at Tony as if he was one. Phil was still not sure how the two of them had managed to rub along so well for so long. It probably had a lot to do with him being away on 'business trips' so often.

"You lost Captain America, Greg!" Tony said, giving him a thump on the back hard enough that he had to step forward to keep his balance.

"I left him with the Harley Davidsons, Mr. Stark. He's still easy to find. Are you ready, Mick?"

"Yeah. Hey, Tony here said he'd let me take one of these on a test ride after we're finished here. Wanna come?"

Phil hoped the look he gave Tony expressed exactly the sort of dire consequences that were going to befall him for this, but Tony just grinned and clapped his back again. "I'm sure the Cap would love to see you again."

He quickly calculated the dangers inherent in going along compared with giving Tony Stark unlimited access to someone who only knew his cover and realised that he had to be there. Thor was away, Bruce would stay in his lab and Nat and Clint were consummate professionals as far as covers were concerned. Tony was, as always, the unknown element out to cause chaos.

He was also not waiting for a response, walking away as if he knew Phil was going to do exactly as he asked. Which he was.

"So, you like bikes."

Years of training meant that he didn't jump at Logan's voice beside him but it was a close-run thing.

"I do." He turned with his agent-smile on his lips.

"Come look at this."

Mick was back to running his hands lovingly over the StarkCycle or whatever the hell he was calling it. It was going to have 'Stark' in its name; Tony's creations always did. With Mick distracted, Phil followed Logan to yet another racing bike and they began talking injection systems, cc's and road handling.

"I actually prefer a good road bike," he was saying. "Triumph, Indians, Vincents."

"Harleys?"

"The vintage ones. I'm not as big a fan of their new stuff, though I know that probably makes me unpatriotic."

"I like things built for speed," Logan said, and of course he would; the man couldn't die. The man exhibiting the Suzuki came to talk to them and Phil turned his attention to scanning the hall for problems and threats in a way he was really hoping not to have to do today. Tony had gathered a crowd and Steve had...

Steve had disappeared.

He turned on the spot looking for a man standing head and shoulders above everyone else; it's not like the blond hair wasn't immediately recognisable, to Phil at least.

"So you really just like motorcycles?"

Phil turned to Logan. "I really just like motorcycles. I was not sent to keep an eye on anyone. I was actually looking forward to a peaceful, stress-free, Avengers-free day."

"Oh." The small sound came from behind him and Phil spun to see Steve looking rather crestfallen. Phil felt like he'd kicked a puppy and it left him feeling like he'd been kicked in the gut as well. There was something about the tenseness of Logan's shoulder at his side that told him Wolverine wasn't happy but he wasn't going to look away from Steve to confirm that.

"You don't need to, uh," - Steve's eyes flicked to Logan, as if checking that his wording was correct – "hang around with us if you don't want to."

"Well, I don't think you want to be walking around with your SHIELD mascot on your day off, Captain. But I wasn't talking about you; I was talking about Mr. Look-at-me over there." Phil pointed his chin towards the Stark Industries display just as 'Born to be Wild' started blaring from that direction. And where the hell did Stark find go-go dancers at such short notice?

"Oh, yeah. I can understand needing a break from Tony."

The three of them ambled over to see the show and Mick joined them. "Your friend is very energetic," he said to Steve and Steve nodded. "We should probably leave you to enjoy your day. It was a pleasure meeting you."

Steve shook both their hands and Logan grunted at them and they turned, Phil praying that there would be no attack-robots, aliens, or Transformers - which were a bit of both - to interrupt his day.

"Mick!" came from behind them and Tony jogged up. "Don't forget, back here at four. I wasn't joking."

"Sure," Mick said. "We'll be here."

"Still planning on a ride?" Phil asked and Mick grinned.

"I know you like your old man bikes these days, but even you have to admit, hopping on that bike is going to be something else. Plus, have you seen the guy smile? I know he's Kinsey zero, but that doesn't mean I can't look." Mick held his hand up when Phil went to protest. "You'll get to look at the gorgeous Captain America for a bit more as well."

Well, he couldn't deny he wanted to do that, and he'd already decided that he couldn't leave Tony alone with Mick, so he just made a disapproving noise and kept moving.

There was a sense of relief now that he was away from superheroes who knew his secret, but it was coupled with disappointment that he wasn't spending today with Steve. That disappointment didn't last long as they seemed to bump into Steve and Logan every time they turned around.

"We must be moving in the same direction," Steve said the third time it happened and Phil fought to keep the blush from his cheek at the way Mick was waggling his eyebrows. "I like your jeans."

Okay, that time he did blush. "Um, thanks."

"Logan said they were special?"

"Yeah, there's armor built-in for when you come off your bike. But I guess you wouldn't need that."

"Just because I can heal quickly doesn't mean I wouldn't rather avoid the injury in the first place. I mean, I'm no Wolverine."

Only a twitch of Logan's fingers told that he was listening and Phil hid a smile at the way Steve teased him; he didn't see that with the Avengers, at least not yet.

"They have a stand over there," Phil said and led the way towards the Draggin Jeans display.

Steve was fascinated asking question after question of the woman behind the table, many of which she couldn't answer.

Steve looked around before bending to speak directly into Phil's ear. "Why isn't my uniform made like this?" he asked and Phil tried to concentrate on the question instead of the way Steve's breath ghosted over his skin and tickled his hair.

"We," he squeaked and cleared his throat. "Um, we have better toys than this, Cap."

"Oh. That's good."

They moved on to the BMW display where Tony was already standing beside a touring bike.

"This your speed, Greg?"

It was a classic old man's bike, designed for aging road warriors who wanted to baby their aching bones or new riders looking for a comfortable mid-life crisis.

"The seats are very comfortable," Tony continued and Phil could only agree; they were designed to be wide so as not to cause an aching ass for a man with middle-aged spread. "Looks like it would be perfect."

"Well, not all of us can build a red and gold machine and become a hero for our mid-life crisis."

"You don't _need_ a machine to be a hero, Phil," Steve said and Tony's grin turned sour. Phil shushed them both as Mick and Logan approached.

"I thought you'd be over with the old-person bikes by now," Mick said.

"This _is_ an old-person's bike," Tony insisted and Mick laughed a little too loudly. Really, all that was missing was the flirtatious 'oh, _you_ '.

"Greg collects old things," Mick eventually said. "Captain America trading cards, old vinyls, vintage motorcycles. I heard someone say there's a Vincent Black Lightning over there. 1949. And it's for sale."

The Vincent was well out of his price range, but there was a '54 Triumph that wasn't. Forty-five minutes and most of the last year's hazard pay later and Phil was arranging for the bike to be delivered to the rented storage locker that housed the rest of his collection.

They stopped for hot dogs for lunch and while Mick wandered off to the toilets, Steve and Tony signed some autographs. One small boy looked like he wanted to approach Logan, but ended up thinking better of it. Logan took the opportunity to grab a handful of Phil's leather jacket and drag him away.

"Do I have to give you the talk?"

"What?"

"Steve has friends. If you hurt him –"

"Why would I hurt him?"

"You practically giggle like a school girl every time he looks your way, so it's obvious you're interested. But Steve is still young. I'm not saying he's completely inexperienced, but in relationships he is. War isn't a great place to _date_ , you know?"

Phil could feel his mouth moving, but no sound was coming out.

"You just treat him right and you and me won't have any problems."

"The mask is meant to mean we don't get recognized." Tony's voice reached him and he quickly joined a near-by line. It was for the refreshment stand and he was in desperate need of a drink.

"You announced to the world that you're Iron Man, Tony. You do remember that, don't you? Where's Phi- uh, Greg?"

"Getting a drink," Logan replied. Phil didn't turn around. He didn't need them to see him flustered and _God_ , was Logan suggesting Steve was interested in _him_? And could he sound like more of a teenage girl right now?

He tried to shake his head clear as he handed some coins over, but Mick had joined him by then. "I think Captain America is checking out your ass." Phil couldn't _not_ look at that and he turned to find Steve flicking his eyes back up to his face. Phil cracked open his coke and took a long drink, closing his eyes in relief.

When he opened them, Steve was right there.

"Tony's trying to talk me into buying one of the vintage Harley's. Could you take a look for me?"

"Yeah, of course."

Phil ignored Mick's wink and Logan's glare and just determined to enjoy the rest of the day, because there was no way either of them were right. But now that it had been pointed out, Phil was hyper-aware of every time their arms brushed and every time Steve's hand reached out to touch him to get his attention. By four o'clock he was more than ready to get on his bike, just for a chance to let his brain rest.

"So you guys follow us and if you lose us we're the big, beautiful building with a giant A on the top."

"I'm sure we'll manage to find it," Phil said before he pulled on his helmet and started the engine. Mick pulled up beside him and with a quick thumbs up they were on their way before the other three were even on their bikes. Despite that, Tony's verging-on-suicidal riding meant that they all pulled up at about the same time. Except Steve, who they seemed to have lost.

They followed Tony into the living area where he promptly disappeared, leaving Mick, Phil and Logan with Clint and Natasha. Phil quickly stepped forward, hand out.

"I'm sorry for invading your home like this. Tony invited us. I'm Greg Carter, and this is my friend Mick Brill."

Natasha, bless her, didn't even blink, though it was clear Clint was trying not to stare at his casual clothing.

"Natalie Rushman," Natasha said, taking his hand. "I'm Mr. Stark's personal assistant. This is Clint Barton. He's a general annoyance."

"You're another one of the Avengers," Phil said, sounding sort of awestruck, and Clint pursed his lips to swallow his smile.

"That I am. Excuse me, I'll just let Bruce know we're having more for dinner."

"Oh, we're not –"

"Oh, please do stay," Natasha said and Clint was already gone, pushing a shocked-looking Bruce back into the kitchen where there was the sound of rushed whispers then a guffaw of laughter. Phil wondered if he could give them a toothbrush and point them towards a dirty toilet like he'd had to do in the army. Probably not. Damned assassins.

He wondered where they'd lost Steve and by the time he rushed in Bruce was following Clint from the kitchen, a platter of dips and crackers in his hand and an introduction on his lips.

"What happened to you?" Logan asked.

"I actually followed the speed limit," Steve replied.

Steve blushed a little when everyone laughed, but it was Mick who spoke. "You're just like Greg. He always does the right thing as well. Guess it comes from being in insurance."

"Well, when you've seen what can go wrong..." Phil trailed off as an awkward silence filled the room, everyone suddenly remembering what could go wrong. Phil caught Steve staring at his chest right where the scar was and lifted his hand to it self-consciously as if to hide it from his sight. It was into this silence that Tony walked.

"Bikes are in the quinjet. Let's go."

Bruce, Steve and Phil all met that announcement with protests, but Mick was already shrugging back into his jacket and Clint had run off to find his.

"Why do we need to take the quinjet anywhere?" Steve asked.

"You can't get a good feel for what the new StarkCycle will do in New York traffic."

"StarkCycle?" Bruce asked and Phil felt his lips twitch.

"Yes, yes. I'm having someone in marketing fired on Monday. But for now, let's ride."

Phil was still frowning, and Mick walked over to him. "I know you don't like flying, but I bet this plane they're talking about practically floats." It didn't, actually. It reminded him far too much of military transports - too small to cope with turbulence and flown by maniacs. "Don't be an old fuddy-duddy tonight, Greg. It's one night of excitement," Mick continued.

"Yeah, Greg. Don't be an old fuddy-duddy," Tony chimed in, and Mick turned a glare on him.

Phil motioned with his hand and as they followed Tony from the room Mick leaned in close to murmur, "Stark's a bit of a jerk, isn't he?"

"You have no idea," Steve said as he brushed past them.

The back of the jet was loaded with bikes and people and Bruce took one look and made his excuses. Natasha said she'd stay behind and help with the cooking, and the rest of them were lifting off far sooner than Phil would have liked given that today was meant to be an Avenger-free day. Tony was taking great delight in flying both fast and loose, and there was much dipping of wings, swerving and diving towards the ground.

"I hope he at least had the good sense to wait until we were outside of commercial flight lanes," he murmured to Steve and got a worried look in return. Louder, Phil said, "Can I see the cockpit?"

He didn't wait for a response before he walked up to where Tony was behind the controls. He slid the door shut behind him. "You know I'm not really afraid of flying, don't you?"

Tony actually looked crestfallen at that. "But you have to act like it, right? For Mick?"

Phil thought about mentioning _Supernanny_ but they were interrupted by the plane rocking violently.

"Tony, that's enough!" Steve had changed into new Draggin jeans before they'd left and Phil couldn't help thinking that he filled them rather nicely when he should have been thinking about whatever had caused that bump.

"It wasn't me!" Tony said.

There was another rock of the plane accompanied by a loud thud and then a robot was standing on the nose of the plane.

"Fucking Reed Richards can't do anything right." Tony was slipping out of his chair even as Phil slid into the co-pilot's seat.

"Tony, Mick-"

"On it."

He heard Mick say, "Hey, who's flying the-" before Tony cut him off with an abrupt, "Stay down."

Steve was already on the com with the order to, "Saddle up."

"- minus our beserker," Clint was saying as the communications system slid into his ear.

Phil didn't need the com to hear Logan. "You've got me," he said, followed by the _shing_ of his claws.

They were turning into a well-oiled machine, and even minus Bruce and Natasha and with a new addition and a civilian to protect, the killer robots were dispatched with alacrity and a message sent to Richards asking him to make sure Doom stayed in prison this time, then they were landing on a deserted stretch of highway in the middle of the country.

"I can't believe I slept through a real, honest-to-God, Avengers battle," Mick said for the fifth time.

Phil offered him some water. "You weren't sleeping; you were knocked out." In an incident that was going to involve OSHA paperwork, a box of _something_ \- Tony was refusing to say what - had not been secured properly and had landed on Mick's head within seconds of the robots' arrival. Against all odds, Phil's cover was still secure.

Logan was still wheeling bikes from the back of the jet and Tony had appeared in front of them with a helmet in hand.

"You can't ride," Phil told Mick at just the same time Steve opened his mouth.

"Tony, he probably has a concussion. He's not getting on the back of a bike."

"He could ride pillion," Tony said hopefully. Mick nodded eagerly, then immediately turned an odd shade of green before he emptied his stomach on the ground beside him.

Logan squatted on the road they were sitting beside. "I've got some medical training. You," he pointed at Phil, "go away and let me check him out."

Phil accepted Steve's hand up and they walked over to where their bikes were waiting.

"Tony said Mick's your boyfriend," Steve said after an awkward silence.

"Tony has a big mouth," he muttered. Then, "Was. He _was_ my boyfriend."

"I didn't realise you were -" Steve made a movement with his hand that turned into him lifting it to the back of his neck. His head was ducked, and it was hard to tell in the moonlight, but Phil thought he might be fighting a blush. "I'm sorry, I'm still getting used to ... pride?"

"Being open?"

"Yeah." They looked at each other and Phil tried to look encouraging. "I'm glad he's your ex," Steve said next. "Not that I'm glad you broke up or your heart was broken, or." He stopped and took a deep breath. "I'm not very good at this."

"Would you like to get dinner together sometime?" Phil asked. "Like a date?"

Steve's smile was easy to see, even in the dim light. "I'd really like that." Steve looked down at his hand, which was moving rather suggestively over Phil's bike.

"I like the look of your BMW. We occasionally stole them during the war; they were good little bikes."

"Do you want a ride?"

"Yeah, I would. Would you like to ride my Triumph?" Steve had no idea of how innuendo-laden that comment was, Phil was sure. "Tony bought it for me." Definitely no idea.

"I'd love to," was all he said.

Steve held the keys to his Triumph out and Phil handed over his in return.

"We have to get your friend to a doctor," Logan interrupted.

"Shall we see them back in New York?" Steve murmured.

"We're probably a day's ride away, Steve."

"You were looking for an Avenger-free day. And I thought, well, I hoped." He shrugged, looking at his feet again before shooting Phil a shy smile. "I hoped that didn't include me."

Phil glanced at the Triumph and considered what it would be like to ride pillion back to New York, arms wrapped around Steve's waist. But, no. That could wait for a shorter ride, when they knew each other a bit better.

"I'm not getting back in that plane. Far too scary," he said. "I'm going to ride back."

"Maybe we should all ride," Tony said. "We can make it a race."

Thankfully Logan was the voice of reason. "You need to fly the plane and I need to make sure Mick's alright. Robin Hood's on guard duty."

"And I'll make sure Greg gets home safe," Steve said quickly.

They helped reload the other bikes and Phil took a second to make sure everything was securely tied down. Then they waved the plane off and Steve turned to him.

"Are you ready?"

Phil pulled the helmet on and looked at Captain America. Steve. straddling his BMW with a look of anticipation on his face. It made him look even younger. It made Phil want to kiss him.

"Yeah," he said. "Yeah, I'm ready."  



End file.
